Principles and Application

The fundamental faith of the Religious Society of Friends leads to a way of life. In the application of the principles of truth to daily life we acknowledge as supreme the authority of the Divine Spirit in the individual soul. No outward authority can replace it. We must be true to our own understanding of God's guidance.

Individuals ought, however, to test their conceptions of truth by comparison with the individual and collective religious experiences of others. Such experiences are found in rich abundance in the Bible and in the lives of spiritual men and women in all ages, the highest expression being in the life and teachings of Jesus.

Jesus lived a life of love. He taught that love is the motive power of life, and that its application is the solution of all the problems of life. To the challenge of this way of life the spirit within us responds. We accept and make the ideals of Jesus our own. We accept the application of the principle of love as the practical way of life and the perfect goal short of which we cannot be satisfied. The bond of our religious fellowship is an experience in the soul that God is love.

Truth is an ever-opening pathway which, if followed, will lead us to higher levels of life and conduct. Its applications vary according to the changing conditions of life. By the faith fullness of each individual in seeking for the truth and making it known to others when found, we are able to advance.

It has been our experience that the guidance of the Divine Spirit has in great measure led us as a group to similar standards of life and conduct. In trying to understand the will of God, a statement of these standards is made as a guide for all who wish to compare their individual revelations with those of others.

We believe that a vital faith must have its application in life. We would place the emphasis not on works alone, nor on faith alone, but upon the union of faith and works.

Personal Life

Divine Relationship

It is our common experience that communion with God is a fundamental need of the human soul. Constant listening for the promptings of the Divine Spirit and seeking to follow it in every relation of life will lead inevitably to spiritual growth.

If we are faithful followers of Jesus, we may expect at times to differ from the practice of others. Having in mind that truth in all ages has been advanced by the courageous example of spiritual leaders, Friends are earnestly advised to be faithful to those leadings of the Divine Spirit which they feel they have interpreted truly after mature meditation and consideration.

Observance of special days and times and use of special places for worship serve a helpful purpose in calling attention at regular intervals to our need for spiritual communion. They cannot, however, take the place of daily and hourly looking to God for guidance. Nor can any custom of fasting or abstaining from bodily comforts take the place of constantly refraining from everything which has a tendency to unfit mind and body for being the temple of the Divine Spirit. The foundation for all our personal life and social relations should be the sufficient and irreplaceable consciousness of God.

Sincerity

Integrity is one of the fundamental characteristics of right living. Friends believe that truth and sincerity are vital in all the dealings of life. Therefore we earnestly advise the observation of great care in speech and the use of only such statements as convey the exact truth without exaggeration or omission of essential facts.

We regard the custom of taking oaths as not only contrary to the teachings of Jesus, but as setting a double standard of truthfulness. It is recommended that Friends take the opportunity on all occasions where special statements are required, to advance the cause of truth by simple affirmation, thus emphasizing that their statement is only a part of their usual integrity of speech.

Friends are advised to avoid pretense in dress and deportment, as well as in speech, realizing that false impressions may be conveyed by actions and appearance, no less than by words.

Simplicity

It is urged that Friends be watchful to keep themselves free from self-indulgent habits, luxurious ways of living, and the bondage of fashion. This freedom is the first condition of vigor in all kinds of effort, whether spiritual, intellectual or physical.

Undue luxury often creates a false sense of superiority, causes unnecessary burdens upon both ourselves and others, and leads to the neglect of the spiritual life.

By observing and encouraging simple tastes in apparel, furniture, buildings and manner of living, we help to do away with unwholesome rivalry. True simplicity consists not in the use of particular forms, but in foregoing over-indulgence, in maintaining humility of spirit, and in keeping the material surroundings of our lives directly serviceable to necessary ends, even though these surroundings may properly be characterized by grace, symmetry and beauty.

Moderation

Things lawful in themselves may become harmful when used to excess. Friends are advised to observe moderation in everything and to abstain entirely from that which may be the occasion of stumbling to others.

In particular, Friends are urged to observe simplicity and moderation in the conduct of social gatherings, marriages, funerals and public occasions.

Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco

Our bodies are closely responsive to the treatment they receive. They serve us best when they have proper nutrition and healthful living conditions. Friends have traditionally opposed the use of alcohol, tobacco, narcotics and other addictive drugs for reasons of health and because of the tragedies often resulting from their use. Total abstinence is the clearest witness against the use of harmful substances.

Friends are reminded that their attitudes and example where the use of alcohol, drugs and tobacco are concerned may be of positive educational force in the lives of others. Let us try by persistent efforts to combat the overwhelming influences of advertising and public license.

Criticism of varying standards should be tempered by loving appreciation of individual judgment.

Use of Time

Time is one of God's gifts which we easily take for granted, and in the use of which we are commonly prodigal. It is rich in opportunities, yet it is relentless in its record of our selection. According to the way we spend the minutes and hours, we will find the Divine Spirit within us either coming into possession or being crowded out of our lives. So Friends wish to lay special emphasis on cheerful and loving persistence in those patterns of living which will allow a larger and fuller experience of God each day.

Recreation

Proper recreation is desirable for the refreshment of body and mind. Friends are encouraged to participate in forms of recreation that are beneficial and that most fully involve them in the wholeness of life.

Those engaging in athletic sports in schools, colleges or elsewhere should enter them in a spirit of friendly competition, and in either defeat or success give generous recognition to the opposing side.

Amusements or diversions that cause needless suffering to any of God's creatures should not be considered harmless; neither should those that cannot be remembered without regret or remorse.

Television has come to be a part of most households, and its effect can be an educational and recreational force of positive value. Friends need to be aware of the harmful barrage of false values such as violence and the affluent consumption of material goods which form much of the content of television, both programs and advertising. Special care needs to be taken so that neither children nor adults will substitute harmful sedentary absorption for wholesome activity.

Our Society bears a testimony against betting, gambling and lotteries or any other endeavors to receive value without exchanging an equivalent. We hold a firm belief that these practices are wrong in principle: we owe an honest return for that which we receive. Indulgence in games of chance for the purpose of winning prizes also blunts this proper sense of obligation.

Although the first day of the week affords for many people valued opportunities for rest and recreation, these should be arranged at a time that does not conflict with the First-day School and the Meeting for Worship.

Stewardship

We are called upon to be stewards not only of the Divine Spirit which God has implanted within us, but also of the rich provision which the Creator has made for the sustenance of all life on earth. If we are true followers of Jesus, we must ever be seeking to bring conditions of life in this world into conformity with the purposes of God. It cannot be God's will that vast numbers of our brothers and sisters should pass their lives in surroundings that render difficult the quickening of the Divine Spirit within them. Nor is it sufficient that we should be merely kind and liberal to the poor, for the poverty we seek to relieve may be due in part to unjust conditions, intensified perhaps by our own thoughtless conduct.

Friends should consider how our ways of spending money affect others. We should endeavor to share our advantages and should guard against pursuing modes of life that minister only to our comforts. When we live in the Life which is attuned to nature and which finds joy and satisfaction in human relation ships and personal growth, we will be less dependent on material possessions and more protective of our environment.

Purchasers who buy articles that are useful, well made and produced under right conditions help to direct industry into channels beneficial to society.

Owners of property, whether in the form of land, stocks or securities, are counseled to be mindful of the responsibility which their ownership imposes for the management and uses of their property. Investors of money should keep in mind not only the security and rate of interest, but the conditions under which the income is produced.

Sexuality

Sexuality is a natural part of every human being. Basic demands and needs are felt by each individual and it is important to be aware that many aspects are involved in sexual relationships.

deep respect for that of God in each person means that our relationships should be free of exploitation. Respect for each other calls for understanding of needs not our own without making judgmental assessments.

In personal relationships we are asked to consider honestly our motives, to equate unselfishly our desires with what could become another's despair, and to remember that mutual love, caring, and commitment are necessary ingredients of fully satisfying relationships.

Family Relations

Family Life

As the family is the foundation of human society, every home needs for its cornerstone the highest ideals of love. We look to the home for that serenity of mind in which the fruits of the spirit may develop. When husband and wife share each other's aims, help each other in achieving them, and work together in sympathy and mutual confidence, their influence is felt by all who come in contact with them. In such a home both parents share with joy the responsibility for the care of the family, while the children grow naturally to be helpers and companions in the family circle.

Parents and Children

Parents are admonished to consider with reverence the marvel and mystery of God's creative work, and to realize that

parenthood is a grave responsibility as well as a high privilege. All parents should constantly seek Divine help in the guidance of the young lives entrusted to their care.

Children are especially susceptible to the influence of their surroundings, and early impressions are most lasting; therefore love and harmony in the home during their formative years are especially necessary. As children acquire much by limitation and absorption, parents should carefully watch their actions and words, curb their indulgences, practice forbearance, choose worthy companions and permit only worthwhile books and publications in their home.

Child Training

The method used by Jesus with his disciples is a worthy guide for parents in training their children. Precept, reinforced by example, is the keynote of this method. On the other hand, parents should not impose on the children their own expectations, but rather should encourage each child's unique gifts with faith that the child will recognize his or her full potential.

Discipline and understanding are the foundations on which character is built. At first obedience must be to the parents will, but as intelligence develops, the rights of others and the laws of God should become the motive force compelling right actions Loving counsel and direction, rather than compulsion, should be the basis of development. Sacrifice of the family life to an uncontrolled child is harmful to both the child and the family. Control should be founded on love, consideration and service.

Parents should foster a confidence between themselves and their children in which there should be absolute candor on every subject. This will create an enduring companionship between parents and children and will result in a growth of ideals for the homes of the succeeding generation.

Feeling deeply the beauty, purity and holiness of life, parents will desire that their children's earliest impressions should be true and ennobling. They will help them to understand that the formation and functions of their bodies and the manner of their coming into the world are all parts of the marvel of God's creation. It is our earnest conviction that both parents should share in the duty and privilege of this teaching, which can be gradually given in a simple and natural way, according to the growing intelligence of the child.

Family Religious Training

Parents and guardians should be watchful that their children may early have a sense of the presence and loving guidance of God. As they are ready, they should be acquainted with the wealth of heroic story, poetry and high aspiration in the Bible. Selected passages may well be learned. It is desirable that passages be carefully explained that they may have meaning and reality. Regular devotional readings and short opportunities for religious quiet before meals and at other times are recommended for observance in every home.

Parents should carefully instruct their children concerning the principles held by our Society. Their regular attendance at our First-day Schools and Meetings for Worship is an important factor in their religious education. The habit of quiet waiting upon God tends to strengthen and develop their religious character.

Marriage

Meetings should be responsible for the continued education of young people and adults on the importance of love and the growth and development of each partner in the marriage relationship.

Friends believe that the family is the foundation of society and a center of close and precious human relationships. It is an important factor in the molding of lives and the development of character. Therefore marriage should be entered into only after careful forethought, planning and prayer.

Unity of faith and practice can be a cementing influence in the relations of those who are married, as well as a guiding and uniting influence in the relations of parents and children.

Marriage is solemnized in a Meeting for Worship, the partners promising with Divine assistance to be faithful to each other. We feel that God alone can rightly join man and woman in marriage, and no priest or church official is essential for its accomplishment. Implicit in the marriage promise is the realization that problems and disagreements may arise, but that the couple will make an effort with Divine guidance to solve them. (See recommendations for marriage procedure)

A major goal of marriage is a spiritual bond which will make itself felt not only in the home but also in the Meeting and in the world. As the relationship develops, the partners ideally find richness in sharing, not on one level alone, but throughout all dimensions of being: physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.

Even when the marriage relationship falls short of the highest potential and a harmonious and happy relationship fails to develop, obstacles may be overcome by prayerful endeavor and by counseling. It is the conviction of Friends that marriage is a covenant for life, made in the presence of God. It is with a sense of sorrow for our shortcomings that we note the increase in recent years of divorce among our members. Only by mutual love and unselfishness can a true marriage be maintained. This is not an easy task, but it is a high calling.

Divorce

Marriage is a covenant for life. The fulfillment of its obligations is essential to the welfare of the family and to the maintenance of society. Therefore Friends are cautioned against divorce or separation except under extreme circumstances. Escape from domestic unhappiness through the all too common practice of divorce repudiates an agreement entered into for life, and gives countenance and support to a usage demoralizing to home life. Friends should rather strive, through frequent communication on a deep and honest level, to reconcile differences when they arise. We need to realize that anger and resentment are normal, as is love, and that these feelings can be dealt with in constructive ways which contribute to self knowledge and improved interpersonal relationships.

Meetings should have a deep concern for giving sympathetic assistance and be prepared to give advice and help when difficulties arise. Patient searching and mutual effort may prevent tragic consequences which warp the lives of both parents and children. Children from a broken home, with or without divorce, are subject to great strain. Meetings cannot take the place of loving and united parents, but a sense of support and concern from the Meeting is valuable to children who feel bereft and disturbed.

While Friends uphold the permanence of marriage vows they realize that with some couples increasing incompatibility or other reasons may make divorce seem unavoidable. In such cases members are asked to extend sympathy and understanding to those involved.

Death

Meetings are encouraged to provide education regarding death based upon recognition of its reality. This education begins with children and continues throughout life. It may help us to find life richer in the present, to cope better with the deaths of those we love, and to accept death with dignity for ourselves.

In all memorial services pertaining to deaths, Friends should keep to true moderation and avoid ostentatious display or extravagant expenditure. In the conduct of memorial services or funerals we commend the dignity and simplicity of our usual form of worship.

Each adult Friend is encouraged to make a will and to suggest plans for any memorial service and disposal of the body at death. Serious consideration should be given to the donation of one's body or parts of one's body for the use of others, or for medical purposes. Friends are encouraged to foster the growth of memorial societies for simple burial or cremation.